The Warm Up

For some reason, whenever we go on playdates, Big needs about 30-45 minutes to 'warm up' to her friends. Even if she knows them well. And plays with them nearly every day. And BEGS to have a playdate with that person.

I have no idea what this is about. We get all psyched up about playing with a friend, and then -- shortly after we arrive -- Big often turns into a whiner.

"I'm hungry." at 9:30 in the morning, and we ate our breakfast in the car on the way to the event.

"I'm tired." after a 2 hour nap in prep for whatever playdate or event we are attending with friends.

"He/she won't play with me." when we've been there a total of 10 minutes and she just spent the previous 8 minutes telling me she is hungry and tired.

Like I said, NO idea what this is about. I mean, I have a pretty good kid. She's fairly easy to get a long with, and I know she has a lot of friends. She loves going on playdates -- and we do them quite a bit. She gets all excited, talks about it for days leading up (if that much lead time is given) -- even does things like picks out special outfits or plans special games, all in anticipation of playing with a friend.

Then the playdate arrives, and Big suddenly becomes somebody that nobody wants to play with.

Usually, after about a half an hour or so, the playing FINALLY commences, and the playdate goes off without a hitch. It's just getting through that initial period that takes some teeth gritting and behavior management -- mainly by me. I'm the one that gets annoyed. The other kid rarely notices . . . it's just Mom tuned in to the whining and complaining coming out of Big.


I'm sure it's mostly a 'me' thing, anyway . . . I have a feeling Big does not do this as much when I'm not around. She has a tendency to act WAY more difficult -- excuse me, I mean way more different-- when I'm around. People swear she is an angel on the playdates I don't attend, and my dad is convinced Big only misbehaves in my presence. Which is a real shame -- because I LIKE going on lots of the playdates Big attends. It's typically a chance for me to chat with another adult . . . once the first 30 minutes is past and Big is actually playing and having a great time with her friends, and I am allowed the time to decompress and chat.

And no -- arriving early to a playdate does not help. Big just stands around asking me 1,000,000 times . . . "When will so-and-so arrive?!" And then when they do arrive, we still have the same reaction we would have had without me having to be badgered for the 15 or so minutes leading up to our date.


Guess I'll have to start warning my friends about the 'warm up' period. Just so they know that my kid IS fun and that she is worthy of the playdate invitation. And so that I keep getting invited along on the playdates . . . because Mommy needs them as much as Big.