A Big Question

When it comes to raising the girls, there are some things that I keep telling myself, "We will cross that bridge when we come to it." Or "I'll worry about that when they ASK about that."

Getting a family dog is probably the # 1 item on that mental list I have running of things I'm not yet ready to address with my children. I like dogs (ok, I tolerate dogs), but I won't get one until one of my kids asks -- BEGS -- us to get one. There are other things on the list . . . boy-girl party attendance, wearing make up, shaving legs, etc. Most of the items on the list seem like things I won't have to address until LONG in the future, so I'm happy to keep the list running in the back of my mind, paying no real attention to any of those things as I go about life with my little girls.

Today was the first time that one of those items -- the parenting pitfalls that I'm procrastinating -- came off the list. Big asked about something I thought I would not have to deal with for at least a few more years to come.

"Mommy, I want to go get my ears poked so that I can have holes in them and wear earrings," said Big on our car ride after preschool this morning.

Wow. Where did THAT come from? Out of the blue, no warning, no idea where she had heard of getting her ears 'poked' so she can have earrings. Must have been someone at school.

"You do? Where did you hear about that? Which one of your friends has her ears pierced?" I asked in reply.

"Nobody. I just thought of it myself. I want to wear earrings, so can we get my ears poked?"

After informing her that the word is 'pierced' -- not poked -- Big and I had a serious discussion about what exactly that means. I told her that it would, in fact, hurt -- but not too bad. Like a shot or a finger prick -- which sounded OK to Big. I told her that she can't change her earrings for a LONG time after getting them pierced, and that even when she can, she can't wear 'dangling' earrings for an even longer period of time. We talked about your ears needing special care when they are pierced. We talked again about it hurting. We discussed the entire idea of 'getting your ears pierced' for our entire car ride.

The whole time, I was thinking, "She's ASKING to get her ears pierced. I always said I'd worry about that when she asked for it, and now she IS asking. And she's only 4. Is she too young? I can't believe she is asking me already!! She taking things off my list!"

Simultaneously, I was thinking, "Newly pierced ears are a LOT of maintenance. Will she be able to take the constant cleaning, the constant turning, the occasional pain? Am I willing to deal with all of that? Will Jim mind? Maybe we should wait a while on this one."

And, in the back of my mind I was mulling over, "Maybe we should wait and make this a big event -- like for her 5th birthday or something. And where would I take her? Are those little boutiques in the mall sanitary?"

All of this was racing through my mind, just because my 4 year old asked to get her ears pierced.

In the end, I told her that maybe we should wait until she is older, like for her 5th birthday. And she liked the sound of that. I also told her we should certainly talk about it more and really, truly think about it before we do it. And we should ask Daddy when he thinks. I reminded her that it might hurt a little and that it we will have to take special care of her ears for a while. It's a lot to think about.

"I've already been thinking about it, Mommy. I was thinking about it for a while before I asked you," was how Big ended our discussion.

Well, she really ended the discussion with, "When I get my ears pierced, can I borrow some of your earrings?"

Sure, Big. Just take two items off my list of things I don't want to deal with yet -- getting your ears pierced AND borrowing my stuff. While we are at it, why don't you ask for a dog, too?