The New Schedule

Part of the reason that I stopped blogging so much was our schedule. Our daily schedule. You see, once upon a time, I used to get a nice chunk of 'free' time in the middle of the day . . . time to do laundry, catch up on dishes, return phone calls, maybe watch a tivo-ed program, and/or blog. That time, sadly, has passed. Sure, I still have a 2 year old that faithfully naps, but I also have a 4 year old that only naps on occasion. My afternoons are no longer wide open, with time for myself and anything I might like to do. I feel a lot of mom guilt when I take the mid-day time I could be spending with Big and use it to do things like blog or talk on the phone. So, my blogs have disappeared as quickly as Big's afternoon naps.

I know you are thinking, "Yes, but you have time at night . . ." and that is very true. I do put the girls to bed each night around 7:30pm, giving me 3-ish hours to myself in which I could sit here at my computer and blog. But, to be honest, many nights come . . . and I come down the stairs to my quiet main floor, both girls snuggling their lovees and drifting off to sleep in their beds . . . and the last thing I feel like doing is getting on the computer. I think I might have burned myself out on the whole computer thing. Back in the days of super busy HD Portraits, I used to jump right on the computer to edit photos, check email, etc., any free moment I had . . . but now I just don't want to. I'm over it. There is nothing on the computer that I can't look at later, when I'm in the mood for it. That's just the way it is. I'd rather watch TV or read a magazine with my free time -- return those phone calls I don't make during the day, take that shower I just never got around to. Sue me for being lazy.

Or maybe you are thinking, "You could have 'Mommy's Quiet Time" ' and require Big to lay down or do something like read books for a while each afternoon. Yeah, I've tried that. It works sometimes, and it doesn't work other times. Not to mention -- I don't get much time in my week for JUST Big. I could still take my mid-day time, but I feel that my days at home with Big are certainly numbered . . . Kindergarten and a full day 5 day a week schedule is on the horizon . . . so I've just given up my free time for, what I think to be, a greater cause.

But back to our schedule . . . yes, the schedule was a big reason why the blog took a back seat these past couple of months. And now that I look ahead to our next couple of months, the schedule is again rearing it's ugly head again. I have tried and tried NOT to over-book our lives -- especially being that I'm the only one here to deal with the busy-ness when it takes over and sends me to the brink -- but I feel as if I'm on the verge of doing just that: over booking us. We have preschool Mon-Thursday now, with Little going 2 of the 4 days. That, alone, is seriously taking some getting used to. (Whaaa Whaa, I know -- but it IS quite an adjustment for ALL of us!) We also have dance class for Big one afternoon, and then there is gymnastics for Little another afternoon. I've got a little mommy/me class I'm doing with Little one morning each week, and then I have my own tennis commitments two other mornings. The weeks are very full -- despite my conscious desire to not keep us all busier than we need to be.

It's enough to make me crazy . . . remembering who has to be where when. And remembering it all in enough time to do the necessary planning it takes to get us all there. Ugh.

Welcome to a new phase, Mom. I didn't realize it would come so soon -- only at ages 4 and 2 -- but it's here. Gone are the lazy mornings, the ability to shower mid day when the kids are sleeping, pajama days, and deciding what to do for the day after breakfast has been eaten and cleaned up. We are now in a new phase that requires lots of preplanning, scheduling, and showering every day before the kids get up (if I plan to shower at all!).

The new schedule is certainly taking some getting used to. So, how am I adjusting?

One day at a time.

P.S. --

What, you might ask, is Big doing on this Tuesday afternoon while I have found time to blog? Napping? Nope. Sitting in front of the TV, watching Word World. It seems that she, too, enjoys vegging out when she has some free time. I guess she gets it from her Mama. But she just came in to the office and asked me to come and sit in the living room with her . . . and how can I say no to that?