Living in Fear

I am currently living in fear that one or both of my girls are going to get sick.

It's inevitable. With back to school comes 'back to germs' -- and we've somehow made it through the first two weeks without a problem. I feel like it's just a matter of time.

I'm watching the girls like a hawk. We are washing hands like madwomen. Any unusual cough sends my heart racing with fear that someone is about to puke. Any lazy or lackadaisical behavior has me rubbing foreheads and tummies in search of a fever. Heaven forbid somebody sleeps in -- I've learned by now that late sleeping isn't usually a chance to be overjoyed . . . it's usually cause for alarm because it's often the first sign of illness. Today, when at mom/me gymnastics with Little, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I got a phone call on my cell from an unrecognized number . . . I was paralyzed with fear that Big's preschool was calling to report her sick and request my prompt attention to the matter.

It's really, really silly. But it's like I can't control it. Seriously, I'm terrified! What am I so afraid of, anyway? So -- they GET sick -- what is the big deal?

Honestly, there is only one thing driving my fear: vomit. I hate it. Loathe it. Can't tolerate it in the least. These girls of mine could get any flu or nasal/bronchial virus out there, and I would be the best mom and take the best care of them. I would snuggle them and do anything at all for them. But, GOD FORBID they bring home Norovirus . . . I just cannot take it.

Of course, I would take just as good of care of my girlies if they were puking . . .but it's just the whole process of the stomach virus that brings me to my knees. Literally.

It goes like this: one kid starts puking. I get her through the 6-8 hours of vomit fest, and then she is just out of it for the following 48 hours. Within usually about 12 hours of the end of the first vomit fest, the second child will get sick -- or I will come down with it. Either way, I spend days agonizing over the slightest stomach cramp or any slightly 'off' behavior displayed by the yet-t0-get-sick kid. Then, without fail, the other kid or I or BOTH of us start to get sick, and we are puking for another chunk of hours. Then everyone is feeling lousy and awful for about 2 more days. It SUCKS -- for lack of a better word. There is nothing more miserable, in my opinion.

I know all of this so well because we battled TWO different rounds of the Norovirus last year. Once in September, then again in January. And I got it both times. And I've HAD a stomach virus at least once a year since Meg was born. It's just about the most miserable thing in the entire world, in my opinion. Like I said, bring on the colds or sore throats . . . but please, please, no puking. And especially when Jim is out of town. Lucikly -- as I knock on lots and lots of wood -- Jim (or someone) has been around to help in the times when I've come down with the stomach virus simultaneously with a child. I don't know what I would do if I were to battle Queen Noro all alone.

Anyway, just wanted to share my fearfulness. I'm so scared. Living in fear stinks. Strangely enough, there is a very, tiny, itty bitty part of me that wishes we would all just get sick already and get it over with!